03 August 2009
Listening to ... 张惠妹 - 记得
Japanese semester 2 exam in less than 24 hours. I'm fully prepared.
Fully prepared to fail.
What am I going to do? Hope that whatever last minute cramming I can do will help.
I've been addicted to 张惠妹 love songs lately.... her songs used to accompany me through tough times in the past. Listening to those songs again brings back memories (happy and sad).
So it got me thinking again, have I been doing the right thing so far?
I hate myself for having this need to be the peacemaker. I hate conflicts, therefore I avoid them. But apparently it's not only not the right thing to do but made things worse instead. Seems like my need to avoid conflicts unknowingly turned into an escape from the problem.
Now I'm learning how to stop escaping and face the problem. But there are still times when I feel the need to escape and hide. Fights really drive me to hell ~>.<~ It hurts me more than anything else and I end up making the wrong decision just for the sake of ending the fight.
Give me time .. I'm still learning. Not sure whether I can do it, but I'm sure I will get somewhere in time to come.
Why Why Why? Why am I born under the sign of Libra?! It's like I have this constant need to make peace, to please people around me, to make people happy. I hate myself for being like that. Totally, totally hate it to the max. Not only that, I can't even please myself most of the time. Call me a perfectionist but I really have high expectations for myself.
Irritating. It's impossible to have the right balance to everything in life, isn't it?
I try to create harmony in my environment but I do not know how to help. Hopefully whatever I can do so far can help to ease the pain. It saddens me lots to see people around me hurting =(
I wish all my friends happiness in whatever path they choose. I'll be there for you guys no matter what happens.
Minna san! Gambatte kudasai!
Japanese semester 2 exam in less than 24 hours. I'm fully prepared.
Fully prepared to fail.
What am I going to do? Hope that whatever last minute cramming I can do will help.
I've been addicted to 张惠妹 love songs lately.... her songs used to accompany me through tough times in the past. Listening to those songs again brings back memories (happy and sad).
So it got me thinking again, have I been doing the right thing so far?
I hate myself for having this need to be the peacemaker. I hate conflicts, therefore I avoid them. But apparently it's not only not the right thing to do but made things worse instead. Seems like my need to avoid conflicts unknowingly turned into an escape from the problem.
Now I'm learning how to stop escaping and face the problem. But there are still times when I feel the need to escape and hide. Fights really drive me to hell ~>.<~ It hurts me more than anything else and I end up making the wrong decision just for the sake of ending the fight.
Give me time .. I'm still learning. Not sure whether I can do it, but I'm sure I will get somewhere in time to come.
Why Why Why? Why am I born under the sign of Libra?! It's like I have this constant need to make peace, to please people around me, to make people happy. I hate myself for being like that. Totally, totally hate it to the max. Not only that, I can't even please myself most of the time. Call me a perfectionist but I really have high expectations for myself.
Irritating. It's impossible to have the right balance to everything in life, isn't it?
I try to create harmony in my environment but I do not know how to help. Hopefully whatever I can do so far can help to ease the pain. It saddens me lots to see people around me hurting =(
I wish all my friends happiness in whatever path they choose. I'll be there for you guys no matter what happens.
Minna san! Gambatte kudasai!
11:25 PM
sQuEaK
